My Girl Girl!

It's Official....

The name on the birth certificate reads: Mikaela. We dropped one "L". I thought it would help people say "ella" if we spelled it w/ two L's but it didn't. My mom thought it would confuse the spanish folk into saying the "Ya" as the double LL in spanish is said. Clint liked it with one L best and said I could keep the K or use the C. I decided to use the K. So she is officially named. Just like Alex's human wondered how we didn't come up with a name sooner, it's not like it was sprung on us that we were having a baby. Seriously, we just never got serious about names. We always knew we would name a girl Mikaela but even that name didn't sound good while pregnant. It wasn't until I talked to my mom and told her the other names we were tossing around and heard her reaction to them that we decided for sure on Mikaela. That is the name of her sister that died at infancy. We always told Gra'ma we would name our girl that, but we just kept making boys. I came up with Sol while pregnant and forgot all about it until I told Clint to think of something that reminds him of the desert. That is when I remembered Sol and we agreed on it and that was that.

Also, I think I am moving my blog to www.los6carters.live.spaces.com I enjoy the picture slide show and I enjoy it better than blogger. I always had a love/hate thing for this place. I don't expect everyone to create yet another password for spaces. But I do hope family and freinds make it there to at least see how the girl is growing and how the rest of us are doing.

Photos for your viewing pleasure

Here's our new space for sharing photos w/ everyone. I used to be so good at taking pictures and posting them, I've slacked off a bit in the last few years. I like the new format of MSN because it has the slide show and you don't have to click for the next photos. So, enjoy our new photos I just uploaded - there will be more to come!

http://los6carters.spaces.live.com/

Serenity now

I love how everything slowly but surely falls into place. I'm grinning from ear to ear just knowing mom will be here in a few more days and how it worked out so wonderfully. We also received some good news today regarding Clint and work that pays. Hearing that news made me almost tear up and of course I said my "thank you God" prayer. Later, Clint said he better remember to pray, which made me laugh because I needed a good laugh. I always say something to the fact that I can't believe he forgets to pray. I'm constantly in prayer and thankfulness mode and I just think everyone else is too. I used to be in "please please please please" prayer mode but mostly now I am in "Thank you thank you thank you thank you" mode and what a difference I see now from back then. So all the big major things that were on my mind are slowly being lifted away. So happy I didn't stress myself out that I turned into a freak. I did't even call my mom to stress her out on my behalf either. I think I'm growing up and taking charge over these things w/ all the tools that I have picked up from having faith that everything works out and it's no use inviting everyone to my SOS party. Check me out all grown up and everthing!


If you want to kiss the sky you better learn how to kneel on your knees, boy. Lyrics by U2. I don't know why that song popped into my head right now.

Clint and I went out on our little date. A nice girl from church said she was going to make this happen for us and said she was coming over to watch the boys and bringing pizza. So, we took her up on the offer and headed out. We didn't do anything spectacular because we are strapped for cash, but we had a nice time togeter alone. We've spent so much time together over the summer that it wasn't a pressing issue that we do something alone but it was nice to get out and eat w/ out a 2 year old. We got home and she said she would love to do it again for us because our boys were so awesome. She has a little one that is one month younger than Crispin and the two of them got a long so well. That was a relief. There is only one little girl that Crispin truly gets along with and it's always so neat to see them play together, rather than butt heads.

Baby front news - nothing to report at this time. Head down, pretty engaged in the pelvis and growing is all. I'm getting a bit uncomfortable but know that it won't be long before baby makes it's appearance. We all took bets as to when we thought baby would come and if it will be a girl or a boy. All the boys, even Clint put the baby way after the due date! Are you all nuts? I'm going for the 7th only because 7 is my favorite number. We will see.

Buy some!

Everytime we are out of something and we tell Crispin that it's all gone, he will tell us, "buy some!" I think it started w/ bandaids, I told we were out and that I would have to "buy some" at the store. He never forgot that phrase and uses it daily. It's so funny. Just right now, Jack was making Crispin an egg for lunch and I told Jack to becareful w/ the salt because he would have to get it out of the container because the shaker broke. Crispin looked at me and said, "buy some!" My next phrase will be, "do you think money grows on trees?"

My mama's coming!

Mom called Sunday and said she had more vacation days that needed to be used up before the holidays started - even with her vacation days planned for the third week of Oct. to come here. Her boss randomly chose for her vacation days to fall 9/12-9/19. So mom was wondering if it was too late to find cheap airfare. I told her I would look in the morning since I was already in bed. It was a bit of a relief to hear she could possibly be here so close to the birth because I was a tad bit concerned with having some recovering time. Meaning - how would I have some time w/ Clint's busy schedule? I don't want to farm out Crispin for those first few days that our new one is home, but I don't want to be jumping out of bed for at least 3 days either after giving birth. Again, I would just throw my arms up and say, "it's out of my hands!" while secretly hoping for a weekend baby.

I found cheap airfare for those days and called mom to see what she thought because she's is one to tread slowly into these things - thinking about money, gra'ma, randy, flying solo, lay overs, concerns about getting to and from the airport w/ out bothering anyone to take her (about an hour drive from her). She has to mull these things over out loud and I have to be the one the give her the "push" she needs. This time she was, "okay, those times sound good, let me get my credit card." Before I ordered her tickets I told her that people are concerened that if she is here for the birth would she freak out and cause me distress? She laughed and said something about if I didn't freak out, she wouldn't. I asked her, "If I do, what will you do?" She said she was more in the realm of thinking that if these vacation days randomly came up for her to take, she was taking it as a sign that she should be here and that is where her heart and peace were at. "Works for me" I said and left it as that.

I think it will be cool that she was here for it no matter if she sat down in the basement praying her little heart out or if she was with me in a corner praying her heart out. I have two concerns: I don't want to wait till the 12 to have a baby but I don't want to have a baby too many days before she gets here either. My other concern is do I even want her at the actual birth? I don't know why it's such a quandry for me about having people here. Ideally, I would love to just give birth w/out any one around, lick my baby clean and then get into a clean bed. Just joking, I don't have an ideal birth in my head, but I was sure happy w/ how crispin's turned out. Didn't see that coming but it was a scenario that played out in my favor.

This would complete our "bookend baby" theory w/ having her here since she was here for S birth back in 1994. We will see how it all plays out. All I know is that one thing that was on my mind heavy is now scratched off the list and I am feeling pretty good about it all. You gotta love the power of faith!

Today, I am cleaning my house like a mad woman, things are bothering me and I have to get to them today or else I will go bananas. I wanted to get to them yesterday, but Clint wanted to go fishing w/ the boys, so we all went and got rained out, but the boys had fun. This is our last week together before school starts on the 5 and I hope we can all have some fun - cleaning!

Summer time and the living's easy...

Yesterday was my last day watching the baby girl and I have to say it was a very pleasant experience. She mostly slept the whole time she was here. Her mom would come to nurse her every day at noon. Crispin learned a lot about being quite and about being gentle. It was great prep for him! I will miss the mom coming every day and chatting. She was a pretty fun person to chat with. What I will miss the most is probably the paycheck. I won’t have much of an income coming in for a bit here. Clint will be starting school and he won’t have time to have a job that pays – not even a one day a week thing like he had last semester. I know it will all work out because it usually does, but it doesn’t happen w/ out a little bit of stress, prayers and open hearts. I know that I won’t have the leisure this time around to enjoy the bebe for a whole lot of time without needing to jump back into work. I’ve prepared myself for it so I won’t become a bitter one on that subject. It’s good to know that at least I will have J coming back for daycare as soon as I open my door.

It will all be fine.

I’m anxious to get everyone back in school just because I want to see how the schedules are going to work out. I will miss them terribly as they have all pitched in and helped so much this summer – especially w/ Crispin. I’m going to be on my own w/ a new one and w/ Crispin the escape artist. At least he’s not throwing major fits anymore and has stopped yelling and hitting us. He’s been pleasant for the most part, but there are days where he’s determined and there is no stopping him. Those are the days that scare me. But on the other hand, he makes us laugh so much. He has been walking around saying random words like: guacamole whip(not DIP), internet (but in a robotic voice), rock and roll and he will call people weird things like pork chops. He’s obsessed w/ raccoons. He thinks they are going to come in our house and eat his food. When we are outside, he’s always on the lookout for any in the bushes. He says they scare him and we have to tell him we won’t let them hurt him. I have to admit they scare me too and there are many of them around. He absolutely LOVES to wear PJ’s. He’s become picky about clothes and tags. If he sees a tag on his clothes, I have to cut it off. He’s like Jackie in that way, but I don’t think it’s because the tags bother him, but because he thinks you are supposed to cut them off. He wants me to cut the tags off towels and stuffed animals too. Today we had our community yard sales and we brought a ton of children’s books out of storage and went through to see what we would keep and what we would sell. Crispin wanted to keep all of them and so when people were looking through them he would yell at them to “go away!” We had to bring him inside to keep from scaring off patrons! Yesterday he said, “HI” to a little girl and she ignored him and he turned around and said to me, “She no say hi to me, mama!” I told him that some kids are rude and that you just can’t take it personally. I think he understood because later he ran past her and gave her the evil eye.

Okay, enough for now. I should write about S becoming a bona fide teenager this summer, complete w/ girls calling him and inviting him out to bowl. Poor kid, he is so not a player and doesn’t think they are interested in him more than just a friend. Maybe they are not and that is fine by me. I hope that he can have friends that are girls and be able to hang out with them w/ out ulterior motives. We will see what 7th grade will be about!

Preparations are in order...

I ordered my birth kit a week or so ago and I have been washing receiving blankets and getting things together. I still laugh so hard when I think about when I was in the throes of labor in the shower and I had to get out so mandy could get heart tones. (she didn't have a doppler at that time and I'm so happy she has one now!) I get out and ask Clint to wrap a towel on my head while I lean my head down. He throws it on my head and I wait for him to actually WRAP it on my hair so I can tuck in and have a nice turban to keep my hair out of the way. When I realize he is done, I look up at both mandy and him and mandy says, " you are asking the wrong people to do that - we both have short hair!" We laugh so hard and I do my best to get it on my head before another contraction comes. The next contraction, I'm pretty sure was the one that brought out Crispin's head and my towel wrapping wasn't good enough so it was falling off by that time. I ended up with my wet hair in my face anyway.

This time I am prepared! In the dollar section at Target, they had a microfiber spa towel that is made to wrap around your head w/ ease. It wasn't actually a dollar but 2 bucks and a half, so I bought it. I get home all excited to show clint how to use it in case we face the same situation. I, for the life of me can't get that thing on my head with ease! He's looking at me and finally says, "I don't know if I will be able to help you out - you might be on your own in that dept."

I think the towel is a swell idea, but my hair might be too long and too heavy for it. Oh well. I tried.

So, I think I have everything in order for this birth. The neighbor lady that had her baby a week or so ago came over to thank me for the booties I made and also to give me her phone number if I needed to send Creaky over there. That was very sweet of her. I hope the birth happens so fast, crispin won't know what happened and we all snuggle in bed with a little one and start living our new life.

Finally

The wait is over - my bushy eyebrows are now the "in" thing according to The NY times. Yippee! I don't have to fret about getting them waxed or looking too squirly. I can let them grow wild and be in vogue. I've been waiting for this day to come for a long time now.

I'm so IN!

If only...

If only labor wasn't so far away - to some it's not because their babies come early but for me, my babies come on time. So 3 more weeks it is for me. If only I was a little closer to my due date I would think today was *the* day ONLY because of the mere fact that EVERYONE and EVERYTHING is annoying me! Today I have gotten like a gajillion phone calls from one of Jack's friend and his mother. I don't even want to answer the phone and hear their voices. The phone just rang and of course I was no where near it and I couldn't get to it. I treck up the stairs to get it and guess who it was? Yup, the annoying mcnoying ones. What do they want from us??

I start to clean up for dinner and everything falls to the ground making me bend over to clean it up, which is a chore. I keep knicking my belly button on everything. I ain't so skinny anymore. Let's see what else??

I remember feeling that way when I was in labor but didn't know it w/ S and how annoying every little thing was. If only today was the day and I would have an excuse to feel so annoyed.

Baby names and baby love

As S and I strolled around target talking about possible baby names we had moments of hysterical laughter. It's so crazy because we have not pinpointed a name at all for this baby - not even a first name. S and I were talking about one name and how I have always wanted a letter for a middle name, but dad has vetoed that idea and the idea of a number. Yes, I have always wanted to name a kid a number (more of a middle name) - this was even before "screen names" became a word. We could have ended up with a Rocket Seven Carter or something of that nature in our earlier years. Anyway, S and I said a boy name we like and I said we could just have the letter "J" as the middle name and he said it was the same letter as Homer and Bart had but they didn't know what it stood for. So we laughed because it would be the same here - what does the "J" stand for? In Homer and Bart's case sometimes it stands for Genius or Genuine, S said. I was laughing so hard, tears were coming out. These boys are such Simpson buffs - dorks! So, we will see what we end up naming this baby. I'm convinced it's a boy and Clint refuses to acknowledge. Seeing Crispin run around, I can't imagine what having another boy will be like. It's so weird to think about, but we will see. Boys are just as much blessings as girls are even though people keep telling me they want me to have a girl.

Today has been the day for men and women to come up to me and tell how great I look. As soon as I got out of my van today, a man asked me how much longer and how great I looked. I walked into church and got a big hug from Nancy and a "you look beautiful!" I walked into service and then a older couple sat down next to me and asked how much longer and how I looked super. Then when it was time to greet and shake hands (I sat down) a older gentleman shook my hand and whispered in my ear how fine? great? super? (something of that nature) I was looking these days and then kissed my ear! I do remember this happening while pregnant w/ Crispin. Not so much w/ the older boys. I think it's because of A2 being more liberal and people are all about throwing compliments or hate around...don't know. While we were at the family reunion, Jill had her theory on why some people shine and others don't. It's a matter of having girls or boys. She said she thinks the girls suck all the beauty out of mom while boys seem to enhance it. At the beginning of the pregnancy I felt like crap and I know I looked like crap too, but once I got some sun on me, I felt much better. So who knows. I'm curious to see what Britney Spears has, she's looking a bit worn out these days and I look at her and say "girl." but it could also be from her having babies back to back. I don't think her oldest is even a year old. Crazy! I'm feeling fine but boy do my feet hurt! I think it's because I have been wearing flip flops all summer long. I'm not used to wearing shoes w/ no support and especially when pregnant. I don't like wearing my shoes because all my clothes seem to look better w/ flops. I feel like I look like a hobbit when I wear my shoes. It just occured to me that what you wear probably helps in how you appear to people when pregnant. So that is probably more of a factor than having a girl or boy. Maybe attitude too? If you walk around looking miserable then you look miserable and nobody will randomly want to pay you a compliment w/ that attitude? I don't know but I just know my feet are killing me and I should wear my shoes for the next 3 weeks. They mostly kill me at night when I get up 16 times to use the restroom and step on hard wood floors. It will be all over soon, I know.

Oh well. I should get going. I sugared my pickles that gra'ma J gave me and ran over a little gift to the woman who had her baby last week. Crispin is watching a movie w/ S and Clint and Jack were invited to a Tiger's Baseball game. Mrs. T is calling me as soon as she gets home from mass, which is soon. So, I should go and find something good to eat. Jack made some double chocolate cookies yesterday and I have already eaten 2 but should eat a more sensible lunch w/ protein in it. That might help my swollen feet, although they don't hurt today w/ my dansko's...

Whistle while you work...

Lately our Jackie has become quite the whistler. He can carry a tune like nobody's business. It's so sweet. He whistles while he makes us all breakfast - blueberry pancakes and chocolate chips. He's mastered that recipe, complete with making buttermilk w/ lemon juice and milk. He whisltes while he waters the garden or taking out the trash. He seems like such a happy boy and I do hope he really is. He's still so shy and avoids many situations if he can. He would rather teach himself how to do something than take a class. While we find it annoying that he doesn't put himself out there, it's kind of admirable to see him find something he enjoys that he takes the time to work on. This year he will not get away with not doing gymnastics. We've already told him he WILL be doing it since his BF will be back in town and he will be taking the same class too. Jack is so flexible and can do hand stands for what seems like minutes. He's our early retirement! No, but I think he is ready for back flips, bars and beams. He did gymnastics for a session but was so shy because he was the only boy and he would turn into a stiff two by four that couldn't get anything accomplished. We let him quit after seeing how much he hated it. I hope this time around he thrives and enjoys it more. He has the body for it, that's for sure. Long, muscular thin body - full of grace. I wonder if he can whistle while he does gymnastics?

Has baby moved today?

This is the question I get asked by my little familia at least 10 times a day.

We were scared silly this past Friday due to an inactive baby for what seemed like an eternity. Sparing every minute detail as I feel like I am so far removed from that day and that overwhelming sense of grief.

Baby decided to take a looong snooze and Clint and I decided to run every bad scenario in our heads to the point of no return. We ended up at the hospital where our minds where put to rest as soon as that nice sweet nurse put that heart monitor on spot and got the loudest heart tones that echoed off the walls. It was joyous to hear those strong heart beats that went on and on...Of course baby decided to make their debut w/ some strong kicks to go along with it. We all laughed saying it would most likely to be a girl to perform only when she was good and ready - Drama Queen-esque.

Since then, baby gives me a round of kicks a few times an hour, almost w/ that snarky attitude of: kick kick - happy? or do you need me to do a little diddy for you to? maybe push on your bladder a little more or make your pubic bone nice and achy? I'll take it all at this point and only pray that soon baby will come out and I can see everything is alright for myself.

"Yes" is my answer to my boys when they ask that question and put their boy hands on my belly to feel for themselves.

Raising nuestro ninos - Raising our kids

Someone once said they heard this advice, "Raise children you want to hang out with." When I thought about "hanging out" I thought more about post college kids and having time for long talks when in each others company and having total freedom to discuss any topic w/ out biting my tongue and maybe dad and the boys would have weekly fishing trips or something. You know movie moments at every turn.
It just hit me this past week that it could also mean raising kids that you want to actually hang out with here and now.

A few weeks ago Creaky started turning into a little shit w/ this major attitude. If we told him he couldn't have something he would get really mad and start yelling at us things like "NO - you stop it!" or just plain "NO!" but then he would cock his arm back and act like he was going to hit us and sometimes he would. I was a bit shocked how much moxie this kid had and also a bit unprepared to deal with such attitude. The older boys never had a temperament like Crispin was having and I was beginning to think that we had a monster on our hands and he was going to be the child we needed to call Nanny 911 for.
Clint showed firm and consistent discipline with this attitude. I tried to be firm and consistent but with Clint home he kind of just took the reins and did what needed to be done while I sat back and rested my swollen dogs. Crispin responded well and knew he wasn’t going to get away with too much from either of us BUT especially dad. I have to report this week was a very pleasant week with Crispin. It took him a few days to adjust to NOT saying "NO" to us and he skirted around it by saying "NEE" instead. He hasn’t cocked his arm back to any of us and has responded well to us when we let him know he can’t always have his way. We have been able to keep it at a level where he’s not freaking out because he can’t have this or that. It’s been good in that I don’t mind hanging out with him day to day and I look forward to be alone with him and the baby when everyone goes back to school.

I was thinking about the older boys and how we never tolerated whining and especially fighting with each other. Those are the two things that I can remember they never got away with. Oh and talking back to us!!! For the most part they have been pretty pleasant little men to be around throughout the years. They are pretty good brothers and use some fair tactics to resolve any kind of conflicts that may come up. I had the pleasure of observing them while they were being paid to watch after 2 brothers (3 and 1.5 yrs old) for an hour and a half on Thursday. I was smitten with how they were both able to keep these brothers from fighting over stuff or even hitting one another and they kept them occupied with some pretty fun play. They used words and skills that I know were used with them. Patience was an underlying presence for that time. (where did they learn that??) They have always been good with Crispin but I always thought it was because it was their little brother and he wasn’t going away anytime soon. They have been hired for the month of August one day a week to be babysitters for these boys at our house. S has been called on one or two times a week to take the older boy and play w/ him while the mother gets some stuff done at home. They are so excited for the opportunity. I am excited for them as a mother. Not only do we like hanging out with them but now two little guys get to too and hopefully they will learn a few things from these older boys about being good brothers.

So, yeah, I understand what that saying was meant to mean now. It’s kinda cool to have these little revelations, embrace them and put them to work as best as you can. We aren’t out of the woods yet – another one is on the way and by the looks of it they just keep getting more and more brazen! Ay yi yi – give me strength!

Making time for a night out

Our 13th anniversary is fast approaching and we finally think we know how we want to celebrate it. A few weeks ago, I sent out an email to my moms’ group about anyone will to do childcare for all 3 boys so Clint and I could enjoy a night out. To my surprise – I received 3 responses all willing to watch all three boys! One friend said she thought it wasn’t fair that we get out only one night a year and said to take her offer for another night out before baby comes. Sweet! I relayed that info to Clint and he said, “One night a year, more like 1 night every 3 years.” He had a point. I can’t remember the last time we went out w/out the sonny’s. Since the older boys have come of age we have been going out more and more w/ just the creaky boy. With Clint being home practically all summer, I was beginning to think that having a night out might be a waste of time and money and maybe we should just order in and enjoy more family time. We have been doing everything together lately. If we need milk, we both end up going to the grocery store just to go together. Can you believe it – right now he’s at the grocery store without me? He asked if I wanted him to wait till after the daycare baby was picked up so we could go together. I thought about it and said he should just go and get it done now. I had a bad night sleep the night before last and I feel very sluggish and achy from it, so I am resting up while the daycare baby sleeps and creaky is w/ dad.

A few days ago I was driving home from cleaning and wondering what kind of night out we should have. I was starting to think that having a night out wasn’t such a grand idea. I was wishfully thinking if we had gobs of money what would we do? If money wasn’t and issue what kind of night out sounded like fun? Nothing came to mind. Instead of wasting money for a stupid movie – seems like nothing good is in the theaters that would be worth my money and a free sitter. I thought maybe Clint would want us all to get together w/ one of his new friends and his wife and go out for dinner or just drinks and sit and talk w/out kids. That sounded like something that would be better than sitting in silence in a movie theater that I would end up falling asleep through the movie (I’m notorious for falling asleep during theater movies). The last couple of times we have gotten together with this couple, tables have turned – meaning I am the one on toddler duty whilst Clint is enjoying a lovely conversation. That has never been the case. I was usually the chatterbox while he was running after the little guys. It’s hard to keep a conversation flowing while keeping your eyes on small children. The last two times we got together with this couple, I felt I was avoiding deep topics just because I knew I couldn’t expound on them. Or that I was talking really really fast just to get out the story before I had to make sure Creaky wasn’t tearing it up.

So, a night out with other adults and no children sounded like a mighty fine night to me. Before I could tell Clint my idea and see if he was game, he showed me a trailer for a movie coming out called Quinceanera. It looks like a great movie that I can totally sink my teeth into. Although I never had a quinceanera, I knew plenty of girls who did growing up. I enjoyed the fact that Clint enjoys my culture so much that he always wants to watch movies that have to do w/ Mexican-Americans and not only movies but that he loves to cook and eat Mexican food. I think if it wasn’t for him, our kids would stick to pasta and pizza. We hope the movie comes to a theater near us soon. It opens today in NY and LA but hopefully it will come soon here. It won at Sundance in two categories. I just read a review in the NY times this morning and I wish I hadn’t. It wasn’t a bad review, it just told more about the movie that I would have liked to see before reading. Anyway, I’m excited to go out now with just the two of us. I don’t know what kind of food to eat before we go. We can’t eat Mexican because we will just be disappointed, we just tried out this little place for lunch on Wed. and it was pretty good, but still. Clint will be making Carne Adovada for dinner tomorrow – it’s his first time but I’m sure he will make it superb. I would do anything to replicate the chile relleno burrito I had in NM at Go Burger. Clint and I can’t get that burrito out of our minds!

Anyway, we will see where we end up for dinner and WHEN we actually go out. Time is running out – baby will be here in a few more weeks! Maybe we can eat spicy Thai food and that would help me go into labor!!

End of the weekend - boring stuff

Weekend has come and gone. How come those two days seem to fly by? The boys had a great time fishing and will probably go again next Saturday. Crispin and I were invited - but I don't know about the getting up at 5 in the a.m. That's a little too early for me and for what? I would just sit there all uncomfortable and wish I was back in my comfy bed. We will see, I know Crispin wants to go and I don't know if Clint would take him w/ out an extra pair of hands to help out.

I've been doing some clothes shopping for the boys and besides not having shoes for them, I think they are done. I'm so proud of my thrifty-ness - I bought S all 5 of his jeans all for under $5 EACH! I shopped at the outlet stores in MO w/ Monica and bought a pair there and then I was given a coupon and so I went to some here and got him a few pairs. They are all different styles so it's not like I bought him the same kind. I bought all his polos for about the same price too. Clint found him a pair of cool looking tennis shoes for $5 and then yesterday we found him a pair of black chucks on clearance for $9. So he has 2 pairs of shoes to start out with BUT the pair he REALLY wants are $50 -- on sale! I'm sorry, I can't pay that much. He's offered to pay for part of them, but Clint thinks that is sad and would like if we didn't make him to that. We will see what we figure out. I have a coupon for 15% off that we can use if we decide to get them for him. I really like them too and would like for him to have them but the price gets me because there is still
Jack to buy for too. Jack is much more pickier and for some reason we never find too many of the things he likes on clearance. You would think his stuff would be a dime a dozen, but it just doesn't work out that way. He's set in shirts but he might be needing pants, but I will hold out and see if any go on clearance after school has started. (Jack found matching shirts for him and Creaky. He asked if he could dress this next baby but I think Creaky would enjoy looking like his big brother more. Now, we are trying to find similar clothes for the two. I am not a fan of sports clothing but Jack is and it makes him happy to see Creaky dress that style) He needs shoes too and I would like for him to have at least 2 pairs because he is pretty hard on his stuff. We found a pair of adidas for him on clearance but they were still almost $40 - too much still. I won't pay a dime if I can get it for a nickel, so hopefully they will get marked down a bit more before school starts and he could have at least one new pair.
I am not in the mood to shop for me at all. I will not be buying anymore maternity clothes and I don't know the shape my body will take on after the baby. Winter will be coming and I will be able to wear loose stretchy clothes and I think I saved a few pants that I got at a clothing exchange after I had Creaky. We will see how long it will take me to get that itch to buy new clothes.

As far as baby things - if we have another boy, he will be set through the winter. If we have a girl, she will be good for about a month or so in unisex clothes. My only big purchase I would like to make would be a sit and stand stroller, but that won't be needed for awhile since I will be able to sling the babe and push Crispin in the stroller. Plus, winter comes and we aren't going out for walks much anymore, so it's not something I must have NOW, but I will be saving up for one later. That's it, I havent' put much umph in preparing for this baby, I figured I only needed an infant car seat and I would be good to go. I have one coming - I should probably get in touch with her soon. I also have a co-sleeper coming - that was something I wanted but didn't want to put too much energy into thinking about getting. You really don't need too much and it seems like everyone is always getting rid of baby things. With S, it seemed like we were the only ones in the world borrowing baby things or buying used. We didn't have that luxury of purchasing every baby item on the babies 'r us list. You don't need half that stuff anyway!

It's time for bed or at least for us to get comfy and watch a movie. I think we are going to watch a documentary called Prom Night in Kansas city or the movie Crash. I'm in the mood for something funny, so we will see.

Another week down

Another week that seemed to have dragged a$$. Nothing much went on. Creaky had his 2 year check up at the Dr. and that was uneventful. I forgot our insurance had requested he get his blood checked before the appt. His lead levels were fine - something I have always been curious about w/ each kid. I don't know where they would have become exposed to it but it seems like nobody ever really does when they talk about it. He had a mildly low hematorit (#red blood cells) and they suggested I use Floradix. We left on vacation before I could get it and I worried all vacation long that he was slowly getting sicker and sicker. By the time we got home and back into our routine, I had forgotten all about it. I "think" he's fine but who knows. I forgot all about it until S asked how he checked out at the Dr. and told him he has fine and how much he weighed and that was about it. He then asked about his blood and I said, "oh crap - I forgot all about that!" He wasn't too thrilled w/ that answer. I bet he thinks I'm such a bad mother. In a few weeks we will be participating in the "National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey" We were the chosen few - the boys and I. Clint didn't make the cut - he's white and male and therefore didn't qualify. They were focusing on hispanic families and especially pregnant women. So they will be doing a bunch of test on all of us - something like $400 worth. Dental exames, test on our water, dust samples and the boys will be given pedometers for a week to see how active they are. It's a survey conducted by the NHANES for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. It's designed to learn about the health and diet of the people in the United States. The crazy thing is we all get paid for participating and we will get the results from all the tests run. So, hopefully I will find out if Crispin is still in the mild zone because that will be something they will be looking for. We will see - that is coming up in another week or so.

That is pretty much the highlight of the week. Today Clint and the older boys went fishing. Something that Clint didn't care to do in Michigan. He has this loyalty to AZ when it comes to fishing and hunting. He shook it off and took the boys and a friend. Jack has always been the patient fisherman. A few months before we moved to Mi we went fishing and Jack being a few months older than 2, sat on a log and waited and waited for a fish to pull his line. He showed great patience for such a young age. They got to fish at the reunion and both the boys enjoyed it so much they begged to do it in MI. So, they got out of the house at about 5 this morning and hopefully are having a good time.

I guess I should get moving before they get home and Crispin and I look like we just woke up. I don't think we have much planned for the rest of the day or weekend.

Quote of the day

I think I'm going to become a republican. It's much easier, you don't have to think about anyone but yourself.

Clint

Weekend stuff

My week ended and boy was I exhausted! I had Finn for a few hours and the baby and even though everything went smoothly, by the time everyone went home (they were both picked up by 4) I was so wiped out! My feet and legs have been hurting lately and so I put on my running shoes to give me more support on my arches, but it didn't remedy the situation. I figured I needed a good rest and this was the perfect weekend to do just that. By Saturday afternoon I was feeling better and Jack was invited to a friends house and S was going to be staying the night at a friends, so Clint and I figured we could go out w/ just creaky and do some Ikea wandering. It ended up Jack nor S went w/ friends but opted to stay home while we headed out.

Ikea was an experience that I'm glad I finally got to check out. I've always wanted to buy a dresser there for the boys, but there was never a store nearby. I was able to touch and feel and see the dresser w/ my own eyes and it's made from cheap stuff, but I think it will do the job. The price is not bad for the quality. That will be something we will have to buy at another time though. We ended buying a colorful rug for the living area - it so does not go w/ our decor, but it will do for the daycare look and it was very inexpensive. It makes a difference having a rug on the hardwood floors, Crispin will sit down and read books or just sit on it and play. I had one in the basement, that I brought up a few weeks ago, it makes it softer for putting the baby under the soft mobile type thing. That one was so little and it looked awkward and it needed a rug grippper to make it stay in one place. I bought another cheap like rug for the boys room now that they have a TV in there. I can't believe I let them have a TV in their room. Everytime they have asked, I would say when you move out you can have your own. They have shown us through out the years, they can divide up their time and not be stuck to any one thing. So, I don't think the TV will be too big of an issue. I'm in the TV mood too, so I am all about sitting in front of it when I have a chance and that is usually when it's bed time.

Clint is working at Motor Meals today and both Jack and I were reluctant to let him out of the house. It's easy to get used to him being home, we are able to sit and have all our meals together and I'm able to intereact w/ an adult through out the day. I better get my fill because when school starts i'm flying solo. I'm not dreading it as much as I was a few months ago. I hope to start some pre-school curriculum M-W after I take some time off when the baby comes. I still hope to have my Thurs and Fri off, but we will see. Clint is going to be super busy this coming semester, but he thrives on that.

I need to get the baby up or else she will sleep and sleep all day. Her mama will be here to nurse in a few minutes.

tis the season for blooming friendships....

just thinking about the wonderful friendships that have bloomed in the last few months for Clint. What a lucky guy - (what a lucky wife (me!)) to have been graced by these awe-inspiring men.

It seems like a few years ago, I gave in to the notion that I just might be the only friend Clint would ever want or need. It was the year we started gardening together - summer of.... 2002? I made a conscience decision to "include" him into my circle of friends and not so much treat him as "the husband" I remember when we were driving home from having a wonderful time at the garden w/ our newly acquired garden friends and we were talking about taking a Master course in gardening. I told him that would be something we should do and he said, "yeah, you should invite one of your friends to go w/ you to it." I said something to the fact that I would want him to come w/ me and not anyone else and "how he was my best friend." He took it nonchalantly and it wasn't till weeks later that he told me how astounding it was to hear those words come out of my mouth.

As the years past, I knew he wanted to build strong relations with other men but just not anyone. He wanted solid, multifaceted friendships that would last till the end of time. I knew it bothered him that he wasn't in any kind of situations that would lead him to such things and at the same time it was comforting to know that he had a desire for this. I started to know that I wasn't meant to be that sole person for him and what he desired, I just couldn't fill.

School started and in a few months he met a super-natural person, A. The guy is smart, witty, cool, street smart and down to earth. He's a minister at a church in Ohio but is not preachy, instead A is full of captivating charming words. Clint and A would run into each other on the bus and would have flowing conversations that Clint would come home and relay to me and I would think, what a divine intervention!

Finally, at the beginning of summer I had the chance to meet this fellow. He's funny, polite and very young! He's married to a lawyer wife w/ two kids. She does pro bono work and will be starting the same program as these guys are doing this fall. I had the chance to meet her briefly at the grocery store a few weeks ago. We haven't had a chance to all get together yet, but these guys are burning up the trails w/ walks or bike rides at least 3 days a week.

It's exciting to see these friendships unfold. The other friend is just as awesome and wise. The boys really enjoy them both and have asked to do things w/ them as well, like fishing or camping. Last night A was over and was teaching the boys football stuff since he played college ball and he had a captivated audience, I'm sure.

If the phone rings, it's most likely not for me anymore and ends up being for Clint. Although, A did call the other day and since Clint wasn't home asked "how the lady of the house was doing." So, we had a nice half hour conversation. I think he's from the rough streets of Philly, but I don't want to assume. He has an inner-city-wisdom that comes out in the most prophetic way that you know he has been truly touched to live and speak the way he does.

Our day at the lake

We had such a great time today at the lake and the good thing about it was it wasn't an all day thing. It didn't take us long to get there and then we only stayed there for like 2 hours and then we left. The boys had a good time and I think we will try to get there again before the season is over.

I'm pretty tired, so I am off to bed or something. I kinda feel like eating something chocolately, will I regret it if I can't fall asleep or if I get insomnia? It might be worth it!

I just came in from outside, where this petite asian woman made the signs of "WOW! you have a pregnant belly!" She then asked, "august?" I said, "no, september." She said "Very BIG!" and made her eyes and arms wide. I said, "no, just right and made the sign for A-OK." That was it, she had her say. In the past few days people are stopping to stare and even the check-out girls are asking how much longer. As long as I don't feel that big, I think I can handle going to the end w/ out doing everything under the sun to get the baby out. Remind me that I said that when i'm 2 weeks overdue!

I wonder if it had anything to do w/ the biggest steak I've ever eaten at one sitting a few minutes before? Because, I did feel huge but I think I would have felt like that despite a pregnant belly. I was stuffed and still am, even though dinner was about an hour ago. It was so good, so I am not complaining one bit. We ran into Whole foods yesterday and Clint picked out some steaks that were a decent price for whole foods (more like WHOLE PAYCHECK!) When we were getting ready for dinner he said we needed enough sides because we only had 3 steaks, but when he got them out the package, they were the biggest juicest steaks we've seen this side of costco! AND for only 12 bucks! They were even better grilled and we all ate in silence w/ the occasional moan. I made the cranberry, walnut, gorgonzola spinach salad w/ raspberry dressing that I have been eating non stop all summer. That was a perfect side to this meal. Clint grilled up some squash from the garden but I didn't like it today. Yesterday, I was all over it. We thought 3 steaks weren't enough, but we ended up w/ leftovers. Oh - that was a scrumptious meal but I'm so full right now that the thought of it, isn't appealing. Time to change the subject.

Creaky has done super these past days w/ out diapers. He has gone on the potty every time and we are not asking him every minute if he needs to use the restroom either. He did wake up this morning wet, but not fully. I think he woke up when he realized what was happening and then got up to use the potty. I was prepared w/ a little top cover, so that I wouldn't have to change sheets every day if he didn't wake up on time. If he sleeps in, then he's more likely to have an accident. Kinda like the way I feel pregnant, I end up getting out of bed and getting my day started since I was up anyway.

Older boys have been such helpers lately. I was thinking if we lived on a farm back in the day and we had an option to send the boys to school, we would probably keep jack home w/ us since he is so helpful. A few days in a row he's made us all egg burritos for lunch and cinnamon sugar burritos. He made pretzels himself and that is no fun usually. I usually prepare the dough for them but this time he did it all. I was not in the mood to deal w/ the dough and baking - too hot! This morning he woke up and made blueberry pancakes for everyone. He helped me sweep and then mopped the whole house. He's not even getting paid for any of this. I did pay him this week to organize one of the bookshelves that has been driving me crazy for the past few months. I paid S to clean the stairs by sweeping them and then cleaning them w/ pine-sol and a sponge. Those where the two things that I have been putting off doing. I guess I am getting a bit of the nesting bug, but it's not obsessive...yet.

I just got an email from a good friend in AZ saying she had a stroke a few weeks ago. I was shocked to here that, she says she's doing better but that is all she wrote. I feel bad because she was on my mind for weeks and then when we were in AZ, I wanted to call her and tell her we were there but we didn't have time to see her. We did say a big "HI" when we went through Gilbert. I need to listen to these things and respond to them again, you never know what is happening on their end and how spending a few minutes to call or write would speak volumes. I say, AGAIN, because I used to be so good about doing that sort of thing but in the last few months/ years? I've gotten a bit more selfish and fast to say how I don't feel like it or I'm too busy. Clint thought of a friend of ours while we were in NM and so we sent them a postcard from there. I thought that was pretty neat that he thought of them and then helped pick out a postcard for us to send and I just happened to have my address book on me!

I need to learn that you cannot blog w/ a mischevious 2 year old around. While I'm sitting here writing as fast as I can, he's pouring detergent in the dryer! Ugh! a mess I am NOT dealing w/ right now.

I'm out!

It's Potty Time!

For the past 3 months Creaky has been playing w/ the idea of NOT using diapers. It started off cute and of course I thought he would lose interest and not show any till almost 3 or so. Needless to say, for the last 2 months we have been playing, "oops, I just went pee on the floor and I do NOT want my diaper on!" So, it's been a bit annoying for me to have to deal with this. I wouldn't have even started him potty training until way later - just wanted a 3 day session and be done w/ it. I also didn't want to go all out with him before vacation and deal with him on the road...i'm too lazy for that sort of upkeep. I thought I would get him his own potty chair if he continued to show interest after our trip. Before leaving on our trip, I heard the most horrible story about a little girl using her potty and then proceeding to walk down the stairs w/ it to show her mother. Can you say, "biohazard suit?" I totally envisioned Creaky doing the same. He has gone poop in the potty a few times w/ out letting us know until after he's done and flushed, so I could totally see him trying to get his chair down the stairs to show us.

Today, I went out and bought him a new package of race car underwear at his request. He has showed in the last 2 days that he really knows what he's feeling when it comes to using the potty. He even did the little potty dance when he realized he needed to pee. We haven't had any wet spots on the floor or surprise dukies either. He hasn't peed at night since he was about 16-18 months old, so I don't even have that as a concern. I guess he's turn that corner and is really done w/ diapers. I will save a few in case he regresses when the baby is born - you hear that story going around all the time too. I'm just happy that he turned that corner and isn't just denying diapers for the fun of it. We will see what the next few days bring.

***Today, he went poop on his own while he was supposed to be taking a rest with me. I thought for sure he was getting in the medicine cabinet and I was just hoping there wasn't anything in there that he could be dying from while I continued to rest. A few minutes later he yelled, "Mom, clean my butt!!" Of course, I jumped up to make sure the poop was where it was supposed to be and it was. He even put his seat on the toilet and tried to pull gobs of toilet paper for me. How considerate! My boy's all growed up!

I forgot to add - At Easter he got Elmo underwear and ever since then when he would ask for underwear he would call them, "elmowear." It's so cute to hear him say that. And it's working again the whole, "don't pee on elmo, it will make him sad!" I used that with S and his barney underwear and it seemed to work. I picked up 2 pairs of blue's clue underwear at a clothing exchange and the other day he peed in them and so we changed him into his elmowear and he said, "don't pee on elmo, make him sad, pee on blue's clues." So funny this kid!

Target called...

Target called and said they needed my money. Do I sound as facetious as gra'ma Carter? She always says that when she calls but instead of Target it's Walmart.

I went into Target on Sat. to buy a new cordless phone. I zapped mine - don't even ask. and instead of plucking the 30 bucks down for one, I chose not too. I was excited to buy batteries and nothing else. BUT then I went through the end caps of the bedding aisles and fell in love. I've been wanting some new sheets for my Sept. baby but it wasn't a priority. When I had Crispin, I put on my "grody" sheets on my bed so if they got stained or something, I wouldn't care. We ended up not using the bed and so the sheets were saved. Now, those sheets are my favorite and they are now called my "crispin sheets" and I put them on our bed for his b-day. So, I wanted to buy another set to have for Sept. My other 2 sheet sets are my favorites and I would be a bit bummed if they got ruined. So, at target I find a duvet and it's at a decent price (15 bucks for a king!) Just before we left for vacation I washed my sheets and comforter so we could come home to nice clean bed. The night we got home, whatever chocolate dessert we had got on Crispin's foot and of course all over my comforter. We didn't notice till the morning, so there I go again in washing the thing and putting it out to dry outside. So, a duvet was something that I had put on my long list of stuff. Jack found the matching sheet set and that too was on clearance for $15 bucks! I know I shouldn't have spent the money, but while I was pondering it, I asked "what would mom do?" She would think I was a thrify shopper and would have approved! I am pretty happy w/ my purchase and the sacrifice is I have to be tethered to the phone if I get a phone call.

Anyone?

Did any of you reunion folks find picture CD's laying around? I think I might have forgotten them somewhere at camp. I lost track of everything in those few moments before we left. All those pictures we had to pose for wore me out! I forgot my fleece and the puppy chow that Pen-nut gave to Creaky on a rock, so please if our cd's were left behind it was not intentional and we would really like another copy sent to us. Thanks - Again thanks for a great time and wonderful memories to add to our hearts!

What a vacation!

From the moment we loaded up our van to the moment we arrived in our parking lot, we had a grand old time. The boys enjoyed every place we visited and never stopped smiling the whole time. Crispin hammed it up for the gra'mas in NM. It seemed like we had to tie a toy or a candy around their necks to get the other boys to even acknowledge them. It was sad. Crispin enjoyed each gra'ma and made them feel special in his 2 year old way. He nicknamed Abuelita, "gra'ma ita" It was cute. Everyone got a kick out of him. One thing I wouldn't do again is plan a trip to see my family for only one whole day. What was I thinking? I think we are so used to putting our feelings aside and being practical that we don't demand more from each other. I knew what it was going to be like, but didn't want to think too much about it. Mom was saying a prayer for safe travels and she just started sobbing, I mean just blubbery sobbing, I lost it too realizing how little time we actually had and also NOT knowing when we would get to see each other again. That was the saddest moment of the trip and one that I hope to never repeat again. Hopefully, it will all work out for her to come with the baby is born. The last time I was pregnant she said if I had a girl it would tempt her more to move out here with us. We will see, but then again who knows where we will be next April. My brother wasn't too much this time, although he has no couth when it comes to certain situations. He practically made us go to a mexican restraunt in old mesilla and so mom, not one to disagree w/ him because she thinks he knows what he's talking about, agreed. So we all drive there and we get there and he has his 2 kids and his g-friends 2 with him and tells us in the parking lot that he's not hungry and they will meet us at the square after we are done eating. Good enough, I think. He shows up 10 minutes later w/ big gulps from the local gas station w/ his brood in tow and sits down taking up 2 tables in this tiny place and doesn't order a thing! He then asks to be moved closer to us and sits there and watches us eat. It was very nerve wrecking having him there knowing he wasn't eating and making the waiter cater to their needs. That's just the kind of person he is and will always be, I guess.

The rest of the vacation just got better and better. It was so sweet to see the boys playing w/ their cousins and having fun. It makes you think about being closer to family, but you know that it's not always going to be like that because life gets hectic and people get busy. I have to bring myself back to reality on how life would really be if we lived near family. Whatever will be, will be.


The MO family really has a soft spot in my heart and I don't know why. I too want to live on F highway and be near gra'ma and make pickles or strawberry jam. I want the boys to ride on tractors and learn horse stuff from someone who knows a thing or two about them. I want to be far from town and only go in once in awhile for major shopping, but still be surrounded by these people. I don't know - maybe in my former life I was a country girl living off the land and enjoying the simple life. Again, I need to adjust my rose colored glasses and realize things can just as hairy and uncertain on many acres of land. I always leave that place w/ thoughts of country life.

Baby traveled well and no major concerns came up. I can't believe all that we got in in less than 2 weeks time. Our scratch and dent special of a van got us there and back and is still going strong. What a gift to have a car that can get us clear across the plains to the heat of the desert and deliver back to our starting point.

I keep waiting for Creaky to interrupt me and make me stop typing, but he sounds like he's having a ball upstairs w/ the boys and dad. I should still get moving off this thing and -oh here they all come down the basement...

Complete package

Today we celebrated the man of my dreams and the wonderful father of my children. Well, we didn't do anything spectacular for him, but enough to let him know how much we love and appreciate all that he does.

I'm in a state of bliss with Clint right now and have been for the last few months. I know it's not the pregnancy hormones because as I wrote in earlier, I was in a bemoaning state. I like totally ADORE my man. I mean, I have always loved him but adore him, I found that a little too far fetching. I remember a friend talking about how she wanted to adore her husband and I thought it was a weird thing to say. I thought maybe he was being a lazy ass and she felt like she had to "mother" him and love him even though she was picking up his dirty socks off the floor. Or she was being a drama queen and not realistically seeing that marriage isn't always a bed of roses. But at last - this flood washed over me and I fell in a deeper love for him. I so adore the man and I don't think he could do much to come down from this perch of which I have placed him.

All the nights we hunkered down in the deep trenches of marital hardship has come to an end. We are no longer in the trenches but in the comfort of peace in our own slice of heaven. We fought the good fight and learned many ways in which we could live out our hearts' desires, despite not having all the things we thought we needed to be in that space. I know I always have that "I worked my ass off in this marriage!" attitude but lately it's been more of a realization that no matter how hard someone works, without grace, it still might not work out. So, I have to give a shout out to our good mother, father and example of all encompassing love from up above. Without wisdom and guidance I wouldn't be here writing this today. We are truly blessed right here, right now and it feels good!

I know this sounds so flowery and bullshitty but we have always had that "country bumpkin-ness" to us but somehow we got stuck on the side of the road and stayed there for a little too long where it felt this was as good as it was going to get. Never settle for anything less than what you know you deserve, is what I have learned if anything.

Pregnita

Here I am in all my pregnita-es. That is Clint's pet name for me every time I am pregnant.

I'm feeling great - just cruising along right now. Baby is growing and I'm starting to feel hard parts like a rump and head. Crispin loves to feel the baby move. Yesterday, he sat on my lap and said, "baby GET!" and put his hand on my belly. I thought he was trying to tell me to GET baby out and I started saying how baby needs to stay in a bit longer and blah blah blah. He said it again and this time kicked his feet too. Finally, I understood he wanted to feel baby KICK and not GET! Baby was moving around, so it was perfect. Sonny heard me say it was kicking and rushed right over to cop a feel too. He asked how it feels inside and I said, it felt like rubber reverberating in my stomach. That's about how it feels to me when I think of the little limbs bouncing off each other while it's doing somersaults.

I'm getting excited - finally. I think this has been the pregnancy full of complaints. I was too sick, too tired, too annoyed w/ everything to appreciate a growing baby. Finally the clouds opened up and the sun came out and I passed that magical marker and I fell deep into a narcotic induced high. I still did a lot of complaining up until last week - I was complaining how BIG I got in a week's time and how this has been the longest pregnancy in the history of pregnancies! I've been pregnant all winter, spring and will be all summer!
I'm doing better this week and not complaining too much. I'm enjoying my swelling belly and not having too much achyness in my pubic bone.

Other than complaining about petty stuff - life has been absolutely positively wonderful. Everyone is in good spirits and things have been going swell. You can't ask for more!

Lookee Lookee

Look who has access to a camera! Last week we took out our old manual and shot some pictures around town. We went for a walk to the bumps and got a few photos there before the rain came down. It's really expensive developing photos and especially ones you don't like! We were all tapping into our inner photographer. Someday we will have our own dark room and taking pictures with that thing will actually be fun. S enjoyed using it and can't wait to take classes on photography and sign up for the yearbook.

I was able to borrow Mrs. T digital camera for awhile. She's so silly. Somebody must have told her to buy a digital and so she went out and bought one w/ all the bells and whistles and used it once but never downloaded the photos. In fact all the equipment and cd's where still in the box when I went over there. So, I am borrowing her camera for our trip. I've been playing around with it but haven't gotten any good photos worthy of framing.

I'm so bored. Clint works from home but not on Monday's and I am here on the computer because he's not home using it. I did meet a very nice woman today while we were outside. I've seen her many times and we have smiled at each other. She has a baby bump too, so today she was close enough for me to ask her about her due date. We got to talking and honestly, I thought she was going to be from another country (she is - Estonia) and would have a hard time communicating, but she has been in the states some time and our conversation flowed. She asked if I was delivering at the U and I told her no at home and then asked her where she would be delivering and she will be delivering at a birth center about an hour drive from here. It was so thrilling to have a like minded soul to talk birth with! We talked for a good hour while our kids played in the sandbox. She's due a few weeks before I am. I feel like a schmuck for not being my chatty self earlier to have gotten to know her sooner. It made my day to have a neighborhood person to talk with. I get it all the time about living here in family housing about how there must be tons of mom's to chat with. While there are tons of moms around, everyone has their own cliques they belong too - there's the Asian crowd, the Mormom brigade and not too much in between. Oh, the CHILDless crowd too. *****(WHY DO I KEEP SAYING "MOTHERLESS" INSTEAD OF CHILDLESS? THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I'VE DONE THAT!)**** I'm praying for a sweet fun woman to move in right next door to us. The neighbors on the other side of us have a new baby (about 4 months old) and the mom never pokes her head out the door. I'm always outside doing this or that, but she is like a hermit. Her husband is really nice and will always chat me up on his way in.

Well, that is all for now and probably for a long time - unless we get this IBook powered up that Mrs.T gave us. We need a power cord (on it's way via Ebay!) and some kind of internet card - airport card? We will know more when we fire it up. It should be perfect for me and the boys to play around on.

Soliciting for Fundraisers

OSC has 2 worthwile causes that he is raising money for:

1. Fieldtrip to Sleeping Bear Dunes - They are taking pledges for a walk-a-thon coming in May. They are hoping for each child to raise at least $70 to off set the parents' cost.

2. 30 Hour Famine :: Fri., April 28th - Sat., April 29th(5th-12th graders): It's really quite simple. Between February 1st and when the famine starts, you collect donations from friends, family, neighbors, and anyone else you can think of who wants to provide food, medicine, and other necessities for needy kids around the world. You stop eating at 2:30pm on Friday, April 28th, and come to the church at 7pm to spend the last 25½ hours together with other students for support, fun, learning, and God stuff. *OSC did this last year and had a wonderful time. We were so proud of him for sticking with it for the whole 30 hours!*

So, if any of you wonderful people out there would like to donate to any of these fundraisers, please send in your donations.

Thanks in advance!

So much beauty all around!

The grass is getting greener, lots of bulb flowers are spring up all around. I smell spring in the air - even if you still need a fleece when you go out.

It was a beautiful weekend. Clint stayed home from work on Sat. and that just made it for me. I think I would have slugged through if he wasn't home. We went to Jack's soccer game and watched him get an assist. He's coming along just fine. His coach at the last game went up to him and told him how much he has improved and then he came over to me to tell me the same. I know he has it in him, he just needs to believe it himself. It's a great team w/ great boys, super coaches and pretty awesome parents.

Creaky is getting starting to understand that his tantrum throwing will not be tolerated (especially if dad's home) So, he's been in a better space this past week and I'm feeling that loving feeling that we had going on. I had a moment of panic when he started acting like that, since the boys didn't really have much compared to what Creaky was dishing out. We can give him a look or a "Creeeky, no more!" or whatever and he will kinda snap out of it. He might have a meltdown a couple times in a few days, but nothing that can't be contained by just holding him and talking to him. Dad shaved his head last Monday. I ran to the grocery store and when I got back his head was shaved. We had talked about it but I was waiting for the weather to get warmer. I'm glad he did it and Creaky wasn't traumatized by it one bit. He's a cutie pie w/ those cheeks and loooong eye lashes.

Gotta go and do the dishes. Clint should be home from school any minute to finish writing some papers. That guy amazes me w/ his ability to whip out papers like he does. I know he's super stressed about it but he's really got a handle on it and would rather sleep for a few hours and get up at ungodly hours to get his papers done than take time from spending with us. He makes me swoon w/ his devotion to us! We had such a lovely weekend and it was just what I needed to feel like I was among the living! Thanks! Love you sweetie!

Placenta brain, soccer is here and so are the terrible two's?

I'm going to blame all my forgetfullness on having a mush for a brain right now, but I think I have always had one!

I had it in my head that I need to take a meal to Keri and her family on Friday, March 29. I had originally thought it was LAST friday, but then I checked the calendar and saw I was okay but I got it stuck in my head it was the following Friday. I had plan to try out the Chicken Divan from the Eating Well 'zine. So, I go out and get everything I need and plan my day accordingly on Friday. I kept telling Creaky he would see Abby after nap and when the boys got home. He loves that girl (besides Julia) and is always asking for her. So, I call Keri and tell her we are on our way and she says, "uh, okay - are you coming to play or to bring a meal?" I told her to bring a meal and she said Amy is on her way to bring a meal too. I'm all like, "what, did amy get her dates wrong?" Mind you, I am the ONE that put the schedule together, so I go and check and I'm like, "amy isn't suppose to bring a meal till the 31st!" Keri, "it is the 31st today because tomorrow is the first." I feel like a schmuck! I forgot to take her a meal on WEDNESDAY! I apologize profusely and she said they were fine and dandy w/ leftovers and didn't even miss it.

My meal is hot and tell her I will take it anyway because Creaky wants to play. We get there and Amy is there dropping off her meal, but I don't think she knows I was there to bring a second meal. It worked out because Amy's meal was a frozen family lasagna and could be put in the freezer for later eating and my meal was ready to eat. So that was my first "doh!" moment this weekend but it worked out just fine.

Clint went out of town for an Alpha Course retreat on Sat. and would be back Sunday and be at the 11 o'clock service. I had signed up to do bake sale on Sat.night, so I told him I couldn't meet him at 11 because I would have already gone to church the night before. (and it's not fun running after creaky the whole time) He said that was fine and we would see each other when he got home. All day Saturday I had it in my head I had the bake sale to do and planned my day accordingly as well. I get Creaky to take a nap and as soon as he wakes up, we are out the door.

I get to church and realize that the bake sale isn't until NEXT weekend! I know this - we always have them on the second weekend of the month and today was the first! So, we borrow a cell phone and order a pizza for dinner and leave. We were able to surprise Clint the next day and meet him at the 11. Creaky was a trooper and stayed in the nursery and I was able to sit in the sanctuary w/out running after him! He kept asking for Abby, but she was at the 9:30 service and was leaving and he still stayed in there w/ out anyone.

So, my brain is not working at all and leaner the diapers are still sitting in my basement because I totally forgot about sending them to you! I don't have a big enough box and was supposed to look for one in the recycling area and spaced it! I don't know when I will have a chance to look since I will a daycare kid till Wed.

Creaky is awake and sounds like he is helping himself to a bowl of cereal w/ one roller blade on. I should go and help or help myself by keeping the mess to a minimum!

more about soccer and terrible two's - was just saying how much fun creaky was and then we hit this wall of screaming and going limp! Give me strength!

Mrs. T, when you coming home home?

As of late, I had been missing Mrs. T like crazy. I hadn't seen or talked to her since January. I called in Feb. to let her know I was thinking about her and said not to call me back because I had nothing really to say. I called her a few weeks later and let her know Mrs. Fishwick broke her foot and was out of school for some time. That time, I did hope to catch her on the phone. Last week, I dreamt about her and wanted so badly to call her, but was afraid I would catch her at a bad time. She's going through a transition right now and I just don't know if I would be more a pest than a confidante. I feel like she's the older wiser one and I am the younger more carefree one that has nothing to offer her in this time.

She's been heavily on my mind and I lift her up in prayer often. On the other hand, I can see her running all over the states w/ her sisters and cousin Polly, antiquing. She's a major antique collector and she knows her stuff. She spends big money on items and loves traveling to find them. So, I was hoping she was being a globetrotter and not having hard times.

I got a postcard from her this week and I just held it and was so happy! She was in Florida having fun w/ her friends. I think I held that postcard for a good long time all happy like it was from a long lost love. She IS thinking of me, too! was my first thought. In her postcard she talked about golfing where a 7 foot 'gator was sunning himself and going to see the King Tut museum. She also wrote we will go visit Mrs. Fishwick when she gets home. I'm so excited! I can't wait for her to get home and we can do some fun stuff. I want to tell her all about weaning Mr. Creaky pants and I know she will take the motherly road and be all supportive and want to know in detail HOW I did it. She'll want to know in the kind of detail that I forget I'm talking to a child-less woman and then she will ask even more questions and then I'll start to think, "is she really listening?" and then feel like I have gone on and on. That is why I love her so much - she knows how to talk and keep the conversation going and she listens like a lovely listener. I know mom wouldn't mind me talking about her in the maternal way. When mom came to visit we had plans to meet up w/ Mrs. T for lunch, but it was the end of the school year and she had a ton of stuff to get done, so we went to her classroom and visited w/ her real quick. Mom hugged her and thanked her for being so good to me and Mrs. T said it was her pleasure and how I am so good to her. It was a love fest indeed!

Oh - it makes me miss her more right now! Maybe I miss her so much because she's the next best thing when my mama isn't around. I MISS my mom soooo much, but somehow we plow through like two optimistic fools, holding out for the day we can spend our days together. I can't wait for her to live w/ us and what if Mrs. T needs a place to call home too when she's old and alone? Can you imagine that - having them BOTH with me?? I could do it - I could so do it. I'm assuming my grams will have been passed away by this time, but if not then bring her too! Hopefully, I will have a girl and she will help me take care of these awesome women. I hope it's not all bed sores and cranky asses - I hope there are some good times in there where we are running amok around town and shopping till our feet hurt!

We don't know what the future holds, but I do hope I get to be in a position where I can be there for my mom 24/7. Gra'ma is there for her right now and it should be the other way around, but gra'ma has always been a provider/nurturer and a lovely one at that, so this suits her well. Mom has always had to work hard and go go go. Most of what I have felt was intrinsic in me, was honed in by gra'ma, mom has come in later in life w/ sage wisdom that has helped but w/out the two- I would be lost.

Gosh, I miss those women, but hopefully when I see Mrs. T, it will be the balm on my soul till I get to see them again.

OSC and his motor mouth!

I had this big long post and my mouse froze up - just my luck! I've already said how I am NOT in the mood to deal w/ these computer glitches, but here I am again and this time I will write the quick gist of it all or nothing.

Our Mr. OSC seems to have some problems at school and unfortunately we were called in for a conference. I got a call last week from his teachers wanting to meet w/ us because OSC seems to be doing too much socializing and "getting into girls." My first reaction was "so! and have you tried talking to him?" They said he wasn't turning work in either. I couldn't make it but Clint made the conference w/ 2 of his teachers that OSC has for 4 of his classes. They said some really positive things about him and his attitude and that he was in general a very good boy. BUT he's having problems w/ talking in class and his grades are VERY poor! I mean POOR! That was shocking to me and that is the kind of thing that makes Clint see red. I could totally see past the socializing from the teacher point of view and talk more w/ OSC about WHY he feels the need to be such an attention monster. I could also see NOT making straight A's but where his grades are now, I can't see.

He needs to catch up on a few assignments before next wed. or else he is stuck w/ some pretty crappy grades for the semester. He went from being on the honor for 2 semesters in a row to being at the bottom of the barrel. I know he is just slap happy at how "cool" he thinks he is at middle school and how many friends he has, because at Angell, he was just osc and now he's OSC. The teachers also said he was a chick magnet - not in those words but they implied it w/ the stories they told Clint about girls from other teams asking the teachers who that kid is.

Hopefully after this he will try to keep the mantra "there's a time and place for everything." Clint cut him off of IM and asked him to come up w/ how long. OSC said till the end of the year, Clint said that was too long, I said it was perfect. I hated him on it all the time but was too sick to make a fuss about it. He's been cut off since the phone call last week and we have really seen a difference w/ him since. He needs to get his shit together - meaning he is just a loosey goosey when it comes to keeping track of all his assignments. We have tried to help him w/ a folder system but that just gets squished all up in his cluttered back pack and weighed down w/ all his books he's reading. He thinks he can remember his assignments w/ out writing them down and then he will come home and have forgotten most of his work!

I found out they are offering full scholarships to Nationals but the way it looks - he won't be going. Even if he does catch up, going to nationals and missing 2-3 days of school might put him behind again. He understands and is not at all whining about it. We will see what comes of all of this. He's pretty freaked out - that just might be the kick in the pants he needed.

I was very proud at how Clint and I handled it - I didn't want to go the route of my mother and I didn't want to go the route of angry beavers. We got our concerns out and he was able to get his out too - all very diplomatic. Kudos to us all!

Everything else is going well. I'm utterly and totally in love w/ everyone in the house. Clint is so awesome w/ all that he has going on and how he continues to seek all the goodness and love in everyone - including himself. So refreshing and I rejoice! OSC is still a very impressive kid w/ his appetite for reading and his knowledge despite his diarrea of the mouth! Since Jackie turned 9, I have been in love w/ him. He's so cute! I never liked the years 8 and 9, didn't like them growing up, didn't like them when OSC went through them, but w/ Jackie - he makes my heart melt every minute. Creaky - he's weaned and he could do no wrong! He has even let me stay w/ my moms' group, while he went and played in the nursery across the hall last week. That was a first and I hope not a last!

How much????

I just found out yesterday that they are estimating the cost for nationals at about $600 PER child! I looked at S and said, "You won't be going if that is the price!" He said he understood. That is SOOOO much money - what are they thinking? Oh the kicker is - it's at the end of April - next month! There's another school trip to Sleeping Bear Dunes the week before and there are some fundraisers planned for it, but if they don't make enough, it will be an out of pocket expense for the parents. I guess to some parents this is chump change, but not for us! I need to call today and find out if S was awarded any more of a scholarship to attend the music camp. I know it will all work out and if he's meant to go, he will go and if not then he won't. I'm holding out for my vacation in Mexico - someday!

REVISED Comment to leaner

I just read tif-do's comment regarding "cookie-cutter" I so did not mean that comment the way it came out. I wrote that comment on the fly and didn't get to re-read before I submitted it. Some of the most loving women in my life are women that still wear penny loafers or pegged pants - I wouldn't trade them for a funky dresser - ever. I love them and can have heart to heart conversations with them and that is what makes our friendships so special.

With that being said, I want to say what I couldn't say in a comment. All this being MY experience - key word MY.

After having S, I thought I could still go out and have fun w/ friends like a mother-less person and still dress as I had always had. (even though I knew I became a young mother for a reason) Clint was much more traditional and felt that we needed to become more responsible and NOT go out and leave S w/ people every weekend. It was a bit hard for me to grasp at first, but in my heart of hearts, I knew he was right. The times we did go out, it was all because I probably cried and said something like, "if I don't - I will die!" Typical 20 year old? Probably.

By the time I was ready to have another child, I felt this overwhelming desire to grow-up and dress a certain way so that I could be taken seriously as a mother. I felt like I was surrounded by people who looked down on us because we didn't have a pot to piss in or a certain type of vehicle. I knew at the time it was MY own insecurities, but it was easier to be pissed and bitter at these people than to just accept where we were in life. I remember I stopped wearing certain types of clothes and only wore certain types of clothes. It was weird because I clearly remember it, but maybe it was the fashion at the time - long dresses. After having Jack, I really thought I had to dress a certain way or else we would really be looked down on because *gasp* we had 2 children now and this one was planned! My neighbor at the time was this hard-core mormon and I always felt like she was judging us - she might have been but no matter we were always the first people we would contact if we needed anything. I still keep in touch w/ her and just spoke to her the other day and I told her about us having another baby and she said w/ much genuniness, "You and Clint are truly one of the greatest sets of parents I have ever met and this baby is so lucky to be part of your family." It was a heart-felt comment that was taken w/ much appreciation.

When we moved to MI our first year here was full of dissapointment, frustration and depression. S started school and I was this eager beaver to help out and was met w/ much up-turned noses by the other parents. Of course - I was a 25 year old woman w/ 2 kids of my own. NOT the nanny, like some had thought. I became bitter w/ these people and gave up trying to be anything more than just S's mom. I showed up at school at all the events and made sure that my face was associated w/ him and that I was an involved parent despite not having money flying out of our asses. By the second year, I was jaded and only volunteered to be a library helper every week. By this time, I was hanging out w/ a group of friends where we would meet every weekend at our house and eat dinner and drink till we fell off our chairs. The kids would all hang out upstairs and watch movies until we came to bed. I had this angst against these soccer moms and PTA moms that thought they were hot shit. I was a pissed off woman. In this time I met Mrs. T and she was like an angel sent from God. I do believe. She LOVED S and every week would come over to talk to me and tell all these great stories about him and how we must be awesome parents for him to know the things he knows and because he was articulate enough to share his knowledge with the class. She also took the time to hear all about us and I wear my heart on my sleeves - so she knew EVERYTHING. She knew how unhappy I was and how much I looked forward to the weekends to hang out and self-medicate. She knew every time our car broke down and we were down to our last penny, she knew our plans to find a place big enough for 6 people and 5 kids, so we could all live cooperatively together. All she would do was listen and then say sweet things like "I hope everything works out for you." She also was that voice of reason that I wasn't listening to. I knew what I was doing - going out or staying home and partying every weekend wasn't something the boys were used to and we needed to get back to that space of todo para la familia - everything for the family. We lived by that for so long but moving to MI made us lose touch w/ that because of stress. Mrs. T one day told me that she thought S wasn't being his "cool - self" and she wondered if there was anything that was going on that could have triggered that. At that moment I knew exactly what it was. They were not used to being put on the back burner on weekends and then being yelled at because I just got off the phone w/ the mechanic and was highly frazzled. OH - what a sucky time it was back then. It was like she spoke the truth that I was refusing to see.

Months before I became a mother and a wife, I knew I was meant to be something more than just a cranky person always looking over the fence at how beautiful the grass was over there. It was all a process and it didn't matter how I dressed or how much money we made, my priority was raising kids from the heart and always being true to myself and embracing what was meant to be embraced and coming against anything that wasn't meant to be a part of my thinking.

So yeah, clothes don't have anything to do w/ anything. I wear what feels comfortable not what I think will get a rise from people. I wear sensible shoes and underwear, shirts that don't ride up and show my tummy when I reach up, pants that don't squish my gut and ride up my butt. Clothes that I can swoop down and pick up a toddler and clothes that let me run and catch a frisbee w/ the older boys.

A boy is Weaned!

3 nights and 4 days of no te-ta! He doens't even ask for it. YAY! All the stars were aligned, perfect words chosen and perfect antics were used to get Creaky to sleep w/ out nursing. We bought a glider chair and that has made a difference for when he does wake up at night and we need to get him to sleep. Last night he woke up at about 12:30 and I got him back to sleep quickly and he slept till about 7 this morning. I had to be up because Alan was coming or else he probably would have been put to sleep again. Mom called and was so happy to hear he was on the road to being weaned w/ minimal resistance. She said she was worried about my health. She's funny sometimes. I guess I do paint a pretty desperate picture of how run down I feel. I wish I could say I feel better these days, but no - I still have moments of sickies. Last night, I don't know what triggered it but I got sick for no reason and up came my dinner and all the other food I had that day. You don't ever want chile colorado and rice coming back up but since is was the last thing I ate, it exited pretty quickly and didn't burn too bad. I was just about to eat a bowl of oatmeal, so I was at least grateful it happened when it did or else I would have been pretty upset if I had to think of something else to eat after just eating. I think I waited too long to eat again and my stomach was pretty upset from that. I had gone to Angie's house for Shelly's first b-day party and ate all sorts of yummy stuff and then didn't eat again till almost 8. Too long of a wait.

My Jackie celebrated his 9th b-day on Saturday. He's a sweetie pie and I hope he had a good day. We coerced him into picking A&W in Dexter for lunch, since it's a good place to eat w/ a little one - we eat in our car and he's all buckled in. HOw's that for having him contained? We also talked Jackie into eating PIzza house pizza instead of yucky Dominoes. I think I just need to stay away from ALL pizza because that was still pretty crappy pizza in my opinion and it was EXPENSIVE! Anyway, Jackie had a good day and we all enjoyed it w/ him.

That's it for now - would love to go back to sleep or at least lay down, but it's about that time in the day where you have to get moving. I guess it's more like that time for me to eat again. Nothing sounds good though and I just brushed my teeth. Blech!

broken things

our laptop is broken due to the power cord not fitting in properly to charge up the battery. Clint has tried everything to fix it, but he can't. don't know what we will do, but i'm too sick to care. same thing w/ our digital camera, something w/ the cord that downloads or maybe even the camera (it's fallen a couple of times lately) so that isn't working either. clint even went out today and got a picture of our van for me to post but he couldn't download it. again, i can't be bothered w/ these stupid things right now.

so i will see you all on the flip-side or on the phone! i'm too lazy to come down to the basement to get on the computer. to those who don't already have me on their email settings to send me their post, please do so I don't miss out on reading any of your entries. i will be checking email but only when i feel like it.

ta-ta

We are Mini-van owners!

I purchased our "new" van yesterday - sold our bucket of bolts all within the same hour! Wheelin' and dealin' at the Carters.

I have to admit - I am pretty scared about driving that big thing around. I'm already on hyper-vigilant mode when driving the volky and that is low and little. I promise Alex's human that I will not cut off any truckers and I will not put any Bush stickers on our van. I will not be THAT kind of mini-van driver. Also, I don't want to lose my standing in being a safe good driver in the eyes of G'ma! I will get photos when this weather decides to cooperate. Yesterday was a beautiful 70 degrees and today is a miserable yuckola windy cold day. I have to pick up S from practice later or else I wouldn't even venture out there.

Things are going well over here. I'm still feeling like crap and getting pretty tired of it. Gatorade - Fruit Punch has been my liquid savior. I thought I was feeling better, so I stopped drinking it and took a turn for the worse! I wish it was something better than gatorade that I was hooked on like fruit smoothies w/ added kelp or something. Gatorade? poo poo! I had such a great dinner last night that I went to bed feeling great, but woke up at about 3:30 starving. I hate that my whole life revolves around eating, especially because nothing sounds good. wah wah wah, i know but it's my blog and I can whine if I want to!

alright, need to see what creaky boy is up to. yesterday i let him hang out downstairs while I waited for him to come up and he tore almost every key off the laptop! I could hear it but I knew it was shut and didn't think he could open it. Everyday I am proved wrong by this kid!
Oh - last week we were out playing and he said "squirrels eat nuts" and held up an acorn. I understood him pretty well. We see squirrels all the time eating nuts, so it wasn't like he put the two together on his own or else I would be signing him up for MENSA!

NATIONALS! BABY!

S came home today and they made it nationals! He is soooo excited! He came home w/ two medals -- gold for equations and a bronze for propaganda. Way to go! He had so much fun. Sounds like they would - 4 boys in a hotel room w/ no parents! They had strict rules they had to abide by. He called every night and it sounded like they were having fun. He's become quite independent in the last year. I'm pretty proud of him and his independence, I think he's a really good kid and I don't have to worry too much about him making stupid choices - at this point. We willl be re-visiting his independence and responsibilities again in a few years. I hope we can always have this open line of communication that we all have. He's a little more open w/ me than dad, and it kinda freaks me out. I guess, I am just afraid of saying something totally stupid that will make him feel as if he can't talk to me and then shuts down. I'm so afraid of any kind of shut down w/ any of the kids. I so remember that period in my life w/ mom - but it was a totally different circumstance back then and with that I am comforted that at least we aren't contending w/ all that I was carrying around.

Anyway, about this nationals, I just hope it doesn't cost us a small fortune. He was given a scholarship to attend this competition. I don't know if they will be able to afford any scholarships for nationals. We shall see.

Oh, but in our van search - it looks like we found something. A friend from church mentioned she was selling her van and i thought it was going to be way out of our price range, so I hesitated in contacting her. I finally did this week and she was going to the dealer to find out how much they would get in trade in. She emailed me that it would be in a price range that was a bit reasonable but still a little bit more than I would have wanted to pay. we didn't know anything about miles and maintenance. Clint said we should look into further because it was still reasonable for a town and country. This evening she emailed and said that the dealer was offering her a much lower amount due to a dent on the side and that is what she would sell it to us for. It was a heavenly price! low miles, no major problems (as of yet) one owner and a 2002. So, it looks like we will be the new owners. She wanted to make sure that we knew they were getting a new car because they didn't know what kind of problems were around the corner w/ an aging chrysler. I totally understand but it feels good to buy from someone you know and that you can trust. We will be meeting w/ her this weekend! It's a nice shiny thing too! S has ridden in it and said it's really nice. He's good friends w/ their son and they get together often.