Sprinter?

It's not quite winter and not quite spring. We went out yesterday and today to play and I'm sure the high was about 38, but very manageable. I wasn't freezing my arse off - of course, I am dressed head to toe in warm clothes. I feel like a desert flower in need of SUN! Like truly, from the inside out I need SUN. Like I am slowly wilting away. I have a plan: In a couple of weeks, I am going to get an eyebrow wax AND a haircut. I'm saving up to go to the local Bo-rics to get my $20 makeover. You can't beat that price w/ a stick and everytime I have been, I haven't walked away dissapointed. Not even w/ the wax job! That's a bonus! I've already taken the time out to SHAVE my hairy armpits and legs. That was a lot of work. The boys were kind enough to keep Creaky down in the basement w/ them for as long as it took to get the job done. Next I would LOVE to get me some artificial sun rays but I know Clint would be like "whaaat - That's so fake!" It's not even for the LOOK, it's for the restoration of my dying insides. This poor bag of bones is in need of something and w/ growing a baby AND nursing a toddler, I think I deserve to do whatever I think needs to be done. I know a night out w/ the girls isn't going to do me any good UNTIL I replenish myself. I would just be a hunched-over, unibrow, split-end downer w/ no appetite for food or talk. Get me to bo-rics ASAP and a fake tan and I will be good to go!

Mom called yesterday, she was sitting on her porch w/ her new patio set wishing I was there w/ her. Oh - she had to throw in - the weather was a balmy 80 degrees and beautiful. I shrunk a little more. We had a nice conversation about having babies. She was telling me how she felt she HAD to be there when I gave birth to S so she could "agonize" w/ me and hold my hand and make sure her baby didn't suffer any pain. She left to get my slippers and by the time she got back, I gave birth. She was left w/a "what?" She couldn't make it for J, but she prayed over me before I left to the hospital. She said by the time I gave birth to #3, she said, "I knew you didn't need me and you were more knowledgable than I was." I told her I didn't care how much knowledge I had, it was her prayers that have always gotten me through it all. I kinda get this panicky feeling if I don't think I will catch mom at home before I deliver. I don't care if I have everyone around me praying, I will not feel at peace until I get my mama on that phone and she says her powerful prayer over me. (I don't feel like I need her w/ me either - would jsut feel like it's another set of eyes on me) She was happy to hear all that. Isn't it like us to feel we have nothing to offer of substance? Last summer I received the nicest most heartfelt THANK YOU note and I wanted to frame it. I so did. I thought it was a bit narcissistic of me to actually do it, so I didn't. I didn't even keep it because I thought it was too "stroking my ego." It was the nicest letter I have ever received in my womanly, wifey, motherly years. All the words and phrases you would want with your name said in the same breath. A few months laters I read somewhere to keep a box to store such mementos for keepsaking. I wish I had. A few weeks ago, when I was w/ Mrs. T. we were talking about stuff and she asked me what kind of grades Clint was getting and I told her mostly A's. She said, "well then I say those are the type of grades you are getting as a self assured woman, loving wife and awesome mother." That floated my boat and if it was written down in a note, I would have put it my keepsake box.

I made S unpack his bags w/ out realizing that he leaves again for 3 days on Wednesday. I am so out of it. I'm glad I check email because I would be even more out of it! He's off to the state wide Academic games competition in Grand Rapids. (actually, I think it's grand rapids - it could be canada!) He's a little globetrotter or at least an intra-state trotter.

I'm having some really good nights w/ Creaky. I'm hoping he's starting to understand that I am not a WILLING participant in his little nursing shanigans! I hope that is what is happening.

OH OH OH - today was good day but even better becasue MLM came over and brought some "financed" breakfast sweets and did a prenatal AND got heart tones w/ the doppler! So yes there is a baby in there!