Ready to Wean!

LLL fails to mention stiff necks and sore backs when you choose to nurse on demand (especially at night) Since Crispin had work done on his teeth he has slowly gotten back to what I call "marathon nursing" Don't know if his teeth are bothering him or what? He's also started putting things in his mouth. He's never done this. He comes over to us w/ a mouthful of coins or toys. It's quite annoying and gross!

The last 2 nights have been a bit better because before we go to sleep I had told him, "just a little bit of Te-Ta" and so he will nurse and pretty much be asleep but when I unlatch him he wakes up. So, I have been sticking to my guns and NOT let him nurse again. The first time I tried that was a few days after Christmas and he screamed for most of the night. I knew it was prime time because both neighbors are gone and Clint was on break. I didn't feel bad for him screaming because I was right there holding him and talking to him. I did feel like after that night I broke the "static" so to speak. Meaning that after that, he hasn't been so compelled to think he can't sleep w/out my boob in his mouth. The last two nights he didn't scream but he tried his hardest to get in my shirt and I would have to get his arms out everytime. I just have to talk to him and ask him things like "Do you think your friends are sleeping right now?, Do you think the squirrels are sleeping? How do they sleep?" "Can you say night night to them?" He calms down and listens and then I will go through the list of his friends and say night night to them and if he's still awake I will list everything he knows like his trucks, books, balls, even rocks, moon and stars. We put up glow in the dark stars but he's not so enthralled, like I was hoping he would be. He eventually will fall asleep and it seems like he will sleep longer before he wakes up again to nurse. If he wakes up closer to 4, I will nurse him back to sleep, but if he wakes up again in an hour or so, I will just start the procedure again. I don't think it's fair to just go cold turkey on him and what I would hope is that he would someday decide that he's done nursing - soon though!

During the day, I'm pretty good about not nursing him everytime he asks and I have to say, that it's a lot work keeping him from wearing me down. You have to be on your toes - literally. Everytime I sit down he jumps in my lap and assumes the position. I'm still pretty okay with it all because I said that 2 would be my stopping point and I just hope that I'm doing all the things that will have him ready by then. I know I would feel guilty or bad if I made him stop when he wasn't totally ready or if I tricked him into it. There are days that I think of all the ways I want to prepare my Te-Tas...putting band aids on them and saying they are broken or have ouchies. I have thought of putting GSE (grapefruit seed extract) on them because the taste is yucky but it's safe to ingest. How cruel and mean is that? I've been desperate at times - I tell you!

Speaking of which - the boy is awake and trying every possible way to nurse. He's a wise guy too - he's acting like he's eating through my shirt. I told him he could help me make french toast, so he jumped off me and is ready. I need to go now!