These are the FACTS...

Fact - you make a declaration and you may be likely to eat your words later. A few weeks ago I went to my moms’ group and made such declaration. If I remember correctly, my words went something like this: I am done having children. Crispin has made that clear for me. I probably went on to say how much he keeps us on our toes and because of that I wouldn’t have the energy for another one.

Lo and behold I was already 5 weeks along. After I made that comment, I knew I would be eating my words and I couldn’t get them back in my mouth fast enough. The next day – I KNEW something was up. It took me a week to finally take a test to confirm. It took me all weekend to finally muster up the courage to tell the other half. I was neither here nor there w/ the news. I wasn’t overly devastated nor was I overjoyed. It was a sucky space to be in. Yesterday, I presented the letter I had written a few moments after finding out to Clint. He took it better than I thought. Of course my letter did state that I wasn’t in the mood to hear every yucky notion that ran through his mind. He obliged much to his ability but asked if it was his because he couldn’t remember when it could have happened.

So here we are with another child on the way. It’s very much a circle for us – start out w/ an unplanned pregnancy and end with one – like bookends as Clint referred to it. I am feeling great and I know God isn’t into making deals but I did ask that since I was blindsided by this that He be merciful enough to let me slide by w/ minimal morning yuckies. We will see in another few weeks what is in store for me.

In the meantime, I have to think of a “foot in mouth” way to announce this to my group. (sheepish grin) I will be the laughing stalk, no doubt! Well, I should have known – half the group is pregnant and it must be in the water!

I will not have to worry about finding a midwife as mid-life midwife has stepped up to being my midwife as I have stepped up to being her first client. And that’s a fact!

I’m praying for a smooth uncomplicated pregnancy and much abundance in the support we will want from people. Support in the sense that we will not be made to feel like we are the stupidest people in the world for doing this. I called my mom the moment I found out and if she reacted badly, then I knew others would too. She laughed and said, “well, you always wanted a big family.” She prayed over the situation and put me at ease. I also had to call the Pastor’s wife, as we know they have gone through this themselves and she too was gracious and poured her love and support over us in this situation. I’m feeling better and getting excited about this. I am waiting a few more weeks before telling the boys. I don’t know how they will react, but if a hypothetical question that was presented to the oldest a few months ago gives any indication, then I will have to go about this as gingerly as possible.

Okay, enough babbling for now. Gotta go!