Love grows in small houses

Last night I got enough courage to let S know we would be having a baby. Of course, he thought I was pulling his leg. When he realized I wasn't he started bawling. I mean flat out bawling! I told him, I was sure he was upset but to tell me why and I could maybe help him feel better. He was upset about not fitting in his room. A few weeks ago, he told me he was worried about where Creaky would sleep when he got older. I told him did he remember that it was about a year ago that he finally started sleeping in his own room, despite having a bed and room of his own. He walked away without anymore questions. His other concern was about not fitting in our car. I told him that was a concern of ours too and we were working on getting a bigger vehicle and it looked like it would be happening. So, he just sat there and cried and cried. For a moment, I had this impulse to offer him a pony or a trip to disney land or even let him go to that drop kick murphy concert he was talking about yesterday - I felt so badly for him and would have done anything to make him feel better. Since i had just picked him up from a writing workshop and had to head straight to the bank so that I could clean it, that was all the time we had before we got to the bank. It takes me about 20 minutes to clean, so he sat in the car while I went in.

Usually, cleaning is my time for prayer or thinkning good thoughts. I had so much swirling in my head about what just happened - I mean, I knew he would take it badly, but really I thought he would surprise me and take it even better than I imagined. So, I started to get pissed off that he was being a whiny brat in the car about a new baby and how selfish of him. This kid gets all that he desires and has our attention in one way or another. We drive him here or there, pick up his friends and in general try to make his life as peaceful as possible.

Here he was crying like a baby and here i was being pissed about it. In that moment, I had forgotten to even pray about the situation and so I said a quick prayer for both S and I. I prayed for peace and comfort to for S and for the right words to come out of me when I went back to the car - i didn't want to make the situation worse w/ flip comments.

I got done cleaning and he was reading a book and seemed like he wasn't so upset about it anymore. We drove home listening to the Killers rocking out. Once we got into our parking lot, our conversation was back to good and we were discussing B-day gifts for dad. When we walked in, I made sure he was feeling better and let him know that in something like this God is always in the folds and if he had faith that everything would work out fine this would be a good time to exercise it. He said, "I know Mom." and with that we walked into our warm cozy little house where dinner was waiting for him.